Happy 1st of December!


Ahhh isn’t that enough to send a panic on the edge of your teeth? Christmas is looming ever closer, as much as I enjoy Christmas I have to admit there is a certain amount of stress it can induce!

I love Christmas I love the merry feel of it, the enjoyment it brings, how for the most part brings out a kinder side in people. Still I always feel a familiar panic when thinking of getting people gifts! Not the money side of it, Well not the thought of spending money on other people anyway, what I panic about is whether I’m spending enough on people will they like their presents? I probably shouldn’t worry so much but I really want  people to like what i get them, I like seeing their face when they really like something. Theres nothing worse than giving someone a gift and seeing a shadow of disappointment on it, or pretending to like it when really they hate it. I wish I could be one of those people who really don’t care about what they get people, they should be grateful they’re getting something… but I’m not that grumpy! Anyways worries aside it is now deemed acceptable to put up christmas decorations so tonight I will be buying some at ASDA! God knows how I’m going to protect them from the cat!

Ahh you know when you have had a week where literally NOTHING happened? Well that’s this week. I know I have been at work, been Christmas shopping, but really it has been quite an uneventful week.  Next week should be much more eventful with Ryan’s birthday in 2 days (he is complaining so much about becoming 24, I’m already 24 suck it up!) Although a frightening though occurred to me yesterday. I never really though about it much but my next birthday I will be 25. It’s an obvious thought I know, like knowing one day you will die, but you don’t really THINK about it properly, when you do it’s a scary thought. I’m not scared because I’m getting older, in fact I can’t wait to actually be mistaken for an adult and not a teenager. What scares me is the 5 year plan, at 20, 5 years from now I thought I will have just graduated uni, hopefully have a good job (still got a year to get that one) nothing too scary about that. But when I’m 25… 5 years from then? Married, Kids… 30! I guess whats so scary is how drastically my life can change in 5 years! 5 years ago yeah I knew there would be changes but nothing quite so monumental! Speaking of being married. Weddings. Thats another thing that’s setting my teeth on edge…


Since I was a little kid weddings have scared me a bit. I can’t be alone in this surely, it seems there’s a myth about women WANTING to be a spectacle and centre of attention for a day… well not me. Thinking of my wedding day, yes will be one of happiest of my life, marrying Ryan is all I could ever want. However, everyone watching me, photographing me, listening to me speak in front of people… it’s utterly terrifying. I’m naturally the clumsiest person most people know. I spill everything I eat on me, If there’s a low beam I bang my head on it, if there something to trip over I’ll trip over it. I am walking slap-stick comedy. How on EARTH am I going to walk down an aisle?! It’s just going to be an all round embarrassing day for me. See though it’s something I have to think about now, seeing as I’m out of university and I have put off even BUYING a wedding magazine… and put off thinking about weddings for 4 years. Since I got engaged. See I didn’t want to think about it because I thought I was too young, then its wait until after uni… now it’s wait until I have a full-time job. Fingers crossed it won’t be long now… but its means I am going to have to start making plans. I envy people like my sister. When she got married, no fear no worries, she doesn’t care about people watching her or anything… I can’t be alone in my fears can I?

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4 thoughts on “Happy 1st of December!

  1. Becky the people that will be watching you are the people , family and friends that already know you ! And love you for who you are , so you could skip or do cart wheels down the aisle it doesn’t matter !!! Just do what makes you happy .
    Love you loads mum xxx

  2. Oh, i agree with your mum! It’s your day, do what you want and how you want. Those that mind don’t matter and those that matter won’t mind! It should just be a nice day with a nice dress, nice food and nice people! Don’t worry about the rest!
    And it’s beginning to feel a lot like christmas…..EXCITING.

  3. I 100% share that fear! I will openly admit that my wedding day will NOT be the happiest day of my life! My mum says hers was the worst day of her life because she felt so uncomfortable! We have been engaged for about 2 and a half years, Aishas even got her dress but the thought of getting married makes me sick! Id love to go somewhere me and Aisha could just get married just the 2 of us like a drive through wedding in las vagas! No having to do soppy stuff infront of people no speaches and generally no attention! But unfortunatly she wants the whole big wedding…. We looked round Ripon cathedral (I was dragged round) and I got butterflies! Plus I’m not religious so would feel wrong in a cathedral! So no, your not alone, not at all!

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